May I freshen your drink with some bullshit?

Here is a company selling magic coasters that improve your beverage with "frequencies"

Every so often a website comes along that’s written with such glorious bullshit that it’s hard not to share. My favorite this month is “Boće”, a company selling magic coasters to put under your drink. According to their home page graphic, the coaster will make your drink more flavorful in 3 minutes — and that’s guaranteed.

I had no idea what Boće means, but my interest was not strong enough to make me spend more effort than Google Translate. On the website they claim it stands for “balance, optimize, coherence and enliven” (a disheveled hodgepodge of nouns and verbs) — but since the C in coherence doesn’t have a pretentious little accent on it, I suspected they looked up some wooey term from some random language. Sure enough, Boće (pronounced BOAT-say) is the Bosnian word for God. And I thought the accent was pretentious!

Boće is the brainchild of “Dr.” Drew E. Karp, a chiropractor (big surprise) from Florida (another big surprise). He boasts on his website that he “has been practicing Holistic and Alternative Medicine in South Florida for 37 years” and that “He is a graduate of Life Chiropractic College and is certified in acupuncture and applied kinesiology.” Those are some mad science credentials if I ever heard them. Just those two sentences tell us that he rejects the majority of all the relevant scientific fields, but let’s see what his science claims are for his product. The basic claim from his home page:

Using a combination of light waves and frequencies, our patent protected technology reduces the harshness, bite, and burn of wine or spirits without affecting their alcohol content.

Wow! I wonder how it can do that?

The key lies in our proprietary technology that emits a specific frequency range, targeting the fusel oils in alcohol. These fusel oils are responsible for the harshness, bite, and burn in drinks, and by reducing their presence through energy transfer, BOĆE Coaster creates a more enjoyable drinking experience.

The coaster appears to be made of clear glass, resin, or plastic. It clearly has no mechanism, and it’s “dishwasher safe” so we can be assured it contains no invisible circuitry. If it “emits a specific frequency range”, it emits what at a specific frequency? Some kind of electromagnetic radiation or sound? They never say; and without a power source, the coaster lacks the ability to emit anything at all. In many such cases, sellers depend on buyers lacking the scientific literacy to realize that such statements are completely meaningless word salads. Throw in a couple sciencey-sounding words like frequency and most people just assume the explanation is over their head, so they just trust it.

Most likely, the only remotely true thing you could say about this coaster is that if you hold it up and flick it with your fingernail, you may get a little tone; same as if you flicked a wine glass, a rock, or a chunk of wood. That’s the audio frequency at which it resonates. It means nothing at all, and without any such audible tone being fed to it, it has nothing to resonate, and thus does nothing whatsoever as it’s sitting on your table. But even resonance is still an implausible mechanism as the coasters come in different sizes and shapes, so all would have different resonant frequencies.

Karp has an Explanation of Boće Technology page on his website. But comically, the page has nothing whatsoever to do with his technology claims. Instead, it’s merely the (apparently pirated) text of what appears to be a journal article, which so far as I can find online anywhere, appears to be unpublished. The title is “Small changes in the concentrations of compounds in beverages can have disproportionately large effects on flavor” and it’s about how changing the levels of fusel oil in alcoholic beverages changes the flavor. Altering a drink’s ingredients alters its flavor. Revolutionary.

What could this possibly have to do with Boće coasters?

Karp says the coaster’s “frequencies” “target” the fusel oils. They “reduce the presence” of fusel oils “through energy transfer.” I’m not even sure what that’s supposed to mean. It heats them up? Not without any heating element or other mechanism, it doesn’t. And why would it warm only the fusel oils, and not the rest of the drink?

Fusel oils are higher order alcohols with more than two carbon atoms, and are formed during fermentation. Do you want them in your drink? Well, it depends on the drink. They are what carry fragrances in perfumes, and what carry some of the flavor in alcoholic drinks. Various drinks are designed with more or less of them. If it’s vodka, you probably don’t want them. If it’s whiskey or tequila, you probably do. If it’s wine, it probably depends on the wine.

Regardless, removing the fusel oils would reduce the flavor. In no circumstance could it enhance the flavor. It’s all just completely nonsensical.

But here is the crowning glory of Boće. Does he invoke quantum physics, the posterchild of sciencey-sounding bullshit? He does! Click this Google site search to see how many times the phrase appears on shopboce.com. Spoiler: It’s a lot.

So if you lack the most basic scientific literacy, and are a sucker, by all means, purchase your magical coasters today. In fact, use my Amazon affiliate code to purchase yours now so I can get a piece of the action.

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