Mush-and-milk journalism gives me the fan-tods

“Now that is the way to write — peppery and to the point. Mush-and-milk journalism gives me the fan-tods.”
— Mark Twain, Journalism in Tennessee (1875)

I have no idea what fan-tods are, but I am all too familiar with mush-and-milk journalism. It has long been associated with all of the best, most thorough, most even-handed, and least-biased news sources — which causes me frequent frustration. You might even say it gives me the fan-tods.

Understandable is when the world’s guiltiest criminal is captured red handed while half the world watches, and the news refers to him as the alleged suspect. It’s understandable because there’s good reason for it: If the news declares him guilty, he can rightly argue that his ability to receive a fair trial has been compromised, and he might walk.