What is a superfood, anyway?
According to pop consumerism, a superfood is some exotic, organic berry or juice or sprig. Often it’s something that has almost no nutritional value (except sugar). Here’s an example. When I last visited the Google headquarters — a place you’d think would have a lot of really smart people — they had free beverage fridges everywhere. Every shelf was marked with a dot: green for the healthiest; yellow for so-so; and red for unhealthy. What do you think was on them?
If you are science-minded, then probably exactly what you fear was on them. The green shelf was high calorie sugar drinks: fruit juices, smoothies, all-natural this or that, basically diabetes in a bottle. The red shelf had diet soft drinks with zero calories that do nothing to your body but hydrate it.
Pop consumerism is, all too often, the exact opposite of science.
So what is a superfood? Well, I would argue that it’s a food that gives you maximum nourishment. A shot of wheatgrass juice contains virtually nothing useful to your body, but a heaping tablespoon of Shackleton hoosh will sustain you for a day. And thus, probably the greatest superfood of them all.
What is Shackleton hoosh, you ask? I invite you to enjoy my short YouTube video wherein I prepared a batch:
Sir Ernest Shackleton was the great polar explorer who had British Army experts design the ultimate superfood for his crew — something that would keep them not only alive, but healthy and thoroughly nourished. Its ingredients, by weight:
Lard. Basically pure fat. Pure calories. What your body needs more than anything else to stay energized and warm.
Dry oatmeal. Fiber and carbs.
Dried beef. Protein.
Dried vegetables. Vitamins.
Sugar and salt — making it very, very yummy.
It’s estimated that a single block of hoosh, about the size of a stick of butter, contains 6,000 calories. In the Antarctic with inadequate clothing and shelter, this was more than enough to keep men healthy. And as we know, despite their shipwreck and tremendous hardships, not a single man was lost. By any reasonable definition, hoosh was an unmatched superfood.
Well, they don’t really sell Shackleton hoosh in supermarkets, but they do sell another product that has similar roots: Spam.
Spam was developed during the Great Depression in the 1930s. It was intended as an inexpensive way to deliver lifesaving nutrition to starving American families, a task it accomplished in spades. Then when WWII broke out, over 100 million tins of Spam were sent to American troops throughout the Pacific (where it still remains very popular… ever had Hawaiian Spam musubi?). Like hoosh, Spam delivered most of what you needed, and it didn’t even have to be refrigerated. Spam saved lives.
But nowhere did Spam save more lives than in the Soviet Union. Countless millions of tins of Spam went to Soviet troops, and even more to Soviet civilians. Kruschev openly credited Spam with saving their Army, allowing the Allies to win the war. Spam kills Nazis. That’s super.
This continued after the war. In 1972 the Soviets were suffering a major food shortage. American tycoon and industrialist Armand Hammer (for whom I briefly worked in the 1980s) sent millions of tins of Spam, and brokered a deal for Hormel to sell them millions more.
Is a sprig of Woo Frond a superfood? No, it’s ridiculous fashionable nonsense. Spam: now there’s a superfood for you. It’s not a complete meal like hoosh, but it’s probably more nutrition by weight than virtually anything else available.
Celebrate Spam.
Brian’s® Spam Musubi Sauce
½ cup sugar
¼ cup soy sauce
¼ cup oyster sauce
Smother your Spam & rice with it. You’re welcome.